Once upon a time, the world Sama Xestsu t'was but a ball of ice. Togh, God of fire, burnt away the ice and sent hard rock to meld into continents. Other Gods abd Goddesses flooded the new world with their creations of minerals, plants, and animals. All but 4 Gods had sent creations to the world. These 4 argued over whose creation should rule. Xal, the God of balance, demanded equality and threatened the Gods be sealed away. The four races were created. Humans would build and manufacture, Elves would maintain nature, Dwarves would mine, and Goblins would slay monsters that would become evil. This was back in the Age of Myths, a time before war. A time of peace and happiness. The 4 races had quarreled only slightly...

Then some douchebags called the Lumine Hallers came about.

And so the Tale of Lumine Hall came about. 

To stop this from being asked: "What's Dwarf Fortress?!"

A complex freeware Tolkien-esque Fantasy game. It is jaw droppingly complex (There's no hit points. People bleed based on how severe the injury and such. Erosion is simulated, there are 200 or so different minerals, the game generates it's own history, etc) and it's all the more awesome once you realize it was made by one coder and his bro. Updates are frequently released. Oh, and it's ASCII (Who cares?)

For more info:

http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Dwarf_Fortress:About

Note: I'm playing DF 2010

More importantly I'll be playing ADVENTURE MODE! Which I can some up with one quote by a YouTuber:

"Dude! I just beat Sasquatch to death with a WOLF CORPSE!"

And if you want, I will rename any townsfolk I recruit to LH'ers (Which you should sign up for)

Some notes:

1: If Rasen (the PC) dies I'll make a PC of the next character in line that hasn't been named after someone.

2: If you sign up, please know your character has a life expectancy of 5 minutes. The Ally AI can be pathetic and this game overall is a douche to adventurers.

3: You can't exactly choose what skills or weapons you use, unless you're the PC. Sorry!

4: Your corpse will be susceptible to being used as a weapon. Or if I don't find it, possibly impaled on a Goblin Pike as decoration

5: YOU guys can choose your freakin' adventure at some points. Do we attack Goblin Fortresses? Do quests to kill monsters? Do we walk around aimlessly? You decide.

Imma start this with an intro...

(My PC is Rasen Bearassaults. I made my character basically a Ninja-Knight.)

*Rasen exits a tavern*

Rasen: *looks around* What's a good way to start my adventure...? *sees a girl holding a whip leaning against a building* Greetings! I am Rasen Bearassaults!

Dether: Hello. I am Dether Plankamazed. You have a strange name... Rasen...

Rasen: \=<

Dether: This servant of music greets you.

Rasen: So... what do you do?

Dether: I adventure.

Rasen: Hey, I adventure... You adventure... Wanna adventure together *wink wink*

Dether: Heh, good joke.

Rasen:... *cries and runs away*

--- 

*Rasen enters a buildings and meets a maceman* 

Rasen: Greetings. I am Rasen!

Hethre: Who names their kid R-

Rasen: Shuddup.

Hethre: Praise the music God!

Rasen: So, what do you do?

Hethre: I scout around our town.

Rasen:...Wanna go adventure?

Hethre:...

Rasen:...so... Yes?

Hethre: LOL GOOD TRY KID

Rasen: FFFFF--

---

*Rasen finds a woman walking all alone*

Rasen: Greetings! I am Rasen!

Rirdest: I am Rirdest.

Rasen: Do you need my help?

Rirdest: No.

Rasen: -.-

---

Rasen: Maybe I should prove myself first! *Walks outside of town and into the hills*

*Rasen wanders for days, and eventually a Lion and Lioness surround him. The Lioness is further away but the Lion is arm's length*

Rasen: Stupid kittens! *takes out Bronze Long Sword*

Rasen: DIE! *slashes Lion in front left leg*

Lion: RAAAAWR 

*Rasen slashes the lion in the other front leg, and the sword gets stuck but is soon yanked out. The lion charges Rasen, knocking him over and blaws at him. Rasen raises his shield in time and the Lioness bites his back, only to be blocked by Rasen's Bronze armor*

Rasen: Nice try. *rolls and jumps back up, whilest stabbiing the Lioness' left front leg and breaking it*

*Rasen stabs the left rear leg and tumbles onto the ground again. He stands up and slashes at the Lioness' left rear leg. It is cut off and lands next to the Lioness. The male Lion dies from his previous wounds*

Rasen: Hah! Back off, bitch. *Lioness tries hobbling away* Don't think so.

*Rasen sheaths his sword and picks up the Lioness' severed leg. Rasen proceeds to beat the Lioness to death with her own leg, until it eventually break through the skin and gets stuck in the Lioness' right lung*

Rasen: Hey! *Rasen pulls out the leg, causing a jet of blood to spray everywhere.* Heh.

*Rasen takes both of the corpses and carries them back to town*



 

SIGN UP:

Ike-Lost
Jeff
Purge
House
Daner
Cedi

Ike!

Jeff!

Purge!

Also, what is Dwarf Fortres- *nuke'd*

House.

Daner.

*Rasen hoes into town and sees a child resting near a tree*

Rasen: You there! Would you like to adventure with me?

Child: STRANGEEER!!! *runs away*

Rasen: ._. 

---

*Rasenhas set a tree on fire and has both of the Lion corpses laid out in front of it. Villagers gather around and gasp in horror*

Rasen: I am Rasen Bearassaults! Slayer of these two lions! I have shown you all my worthiness of leading a party of warriors, of all shapes and sizes! Join me, and we shall find fame, wealth, and power!!!

*crowd leaves, Rasen hears a mutter on how it was a waste of a tree*

Rasen: FINE! LEAVE AND DO YOUR PEASANT WORK!

Random old guy: Go back to your home and quit fuckin' around!

Rasen -.- *leaves lion corpses*

---

Narrator: And so Rasen left town and went to a smaller one.

*Rasen is caught in a blizzard and in seconds is freezing he finds a small shop and enters*

Rasen: Ugh...

Shopkeeper: Heh. Shopping in a blizzard? 

Rasen: I'm a poor adventurer who got caught in one. I am Rasen.

Lapip: Lapip. What's an adventurer doin' over in these parts? It's boring here.

Rasen: I need to *achoo!* proof myself... Got a task that needs to be done?

Lapip: Speak the praises of the God Lir!!!

Rasen:... *leaves town*

---

Rasen: *in igloo, looking at map* Ah, there's a Goblin Fortress to the southeast!*

*walks to fort*

Rasen: Hmm... *looks around too see Elves and humans walking about. Rasen walks inside and finds himself in a hallway with a young boy in chains.*

Rasen:...Hello lad. What's your name?

Child:...

Rasen: I don't bite.

PK Ike: Ike. PK Ike...

Rasen: WANNA ADVENTURE?!?!

PK Ike: Take me back to my mom! The elves... They grabbed me... and...

Rasen: Calm down. Let's go...

Narrator: And so Rasen and the 8 year old, Ike, walked to the two towns Rasen had visited and another one, and heard of no quest-worthy things to do...

  

Narrator: And so Rasen and Ike walked through the wilderness!

Ike: Are we at my home now?

Rasen: How should I know?

Ike: -.-

*Couger jumps out and walks toward Ike*

Ike: Kitty =D YAAAAY!

Rasen: O SHI- *cuts in half*

Ike: D=

Rasen: That was about to eat you!

Ike: NUH UH! 

Rasen: YEAH HUH

*Another catouger approaches*

Ike: KITTYYYYYY! *runs toward couger*

Rasen: /: *slashes leg then stabs in head, killing the couger*

Ike: NO WONDER YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS!

Rasen: *facepalm*

---

*Rasen and Ike travel across the hills as NO ONE has a quest to be done*

Ike: Hey, we're out of those Human towns now. Why?

Rasen: Too peaceful.

Ike:O.o

*a few random encounters later*

Rasen: Elf Forest... Elf Forest... More elf forests...

Ike: Why can't we stay there?

Rasen: Cuz they don't understand us humans.

Ike: They're humans but with pointy ears...

Rasen: Exactly

*In Northern lands, the duo are stuck in a blizzard and find a large Elf settlement*

Rasen: Ugh... fine...

*Still CANNOT FIND ANYONE THAT NEEDS HELP*

Rasen: FFFFFFFFFFF

---

*Rasen gets out of the snow blizzard and realizes Ike is gone*

Rasen: WHAT THE?!!!?!? IKE! IKEEEE!!!

*Rasen runs around looking for Ike*

*Rasen (the player, not the character) looks through game log to see if Ike died. He never did...*

Rasen: I just got ditched by a little kid ._.

*Rasen continues south and finds a small human town in the woods. Rasen realizes he just went in a large circle around a lake. Elves inhabit the snowy north side and humans the half snowy half cool south side*

Rasen: Ah, crap. I'm alone again... *Notices a fancy looking man walking around* Hey! 

*Rasen walks up to the man*

Rasen: I am looking to serve your cause and fight, sir!

Warlord: Ah, we are quite untroubled here...

Rasen:... I JUST WAlKED TO ABOUT A DOZEN DAMN TOWNS. ALL THe SAME FUCKIN' STORY...

Warlord: That means we are in a time of peace, lad! Praise the Gods. 

Rasen: FFFFF-

---

DECISION TIME! 

Should Rasen:

A: Be kind and leave the area around the lake

B: Assassinate the village leader (Warlord)

Also, no idea where you ran off to, Ike 0_o but it probably isn't likely your alive, or will live long, because from what I witnessed travelling the land is in a constant state of blizzard, there are cliffs that fall at least 6 stories in some places, in the blizzard bears and packs of wolves roam about, and in the calm leopards, lions, cougars, cheetahs, and basically every other huge cat you can think of roam about.

Oh, and the only things your character had with him were some rags for clothes. No food, water, or weapons. So unless an 8 year old can somehow avoid the dangers listed above and can find his way to an Elven Forest Retreat, he's pretty much screwed

R.I.P Ike D:

I say B. Saves you alot of trouble in the future, probably.

B

A. If he's a Warlord, I doubt you'll have much chance against him if you don't have much more than Ike did. Not that I know ANYTHING about Dwarf Fortress other than what I glanced in the Wiki, but that's my view of it.

But if you have better stuff, then go with B for lulz.

Oh yeah. And I would also like to sign up for this as Cedi!

Half the fun of DF is expirementing!

I WANTS MAH KITTEH!!!
Also:


This was a triumph
I'm making a note here
HUGE SUCCESS
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction
Aperture Science

we do what we must because we can
for the good of all of us except for the ones who are dead
but there's no sense crying over every mistake
you just keep on trying until you run out of cake
and the science gets done and you make a neat gun
for the people who are still alive

I'm not even angry
I'm being so sincere right now
even though you broke my heart and killed me
and torn into pieces
and threw every piece into a fire
as they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a wonderful line
and we're out of beta, we're releasing on time
so I'm glad I got burned
Think of all the things we learned for the people that are still alive

go ahead and leave me
I think I prefer to stay inside
maybe you'll find someone else to help you
maybe black mesa
that was a joke, haha, fat chance
anyway this cake is great, it's so delicious and moist
look at me still talking, when there's science to do
when I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you
I've experiments to run, there is research to be done
on the people who are still alive

and believe me I am still alive
I'm doing science and I'm still alive
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive
While you are dying I'll be still alive
and when you're dead I'll be still alive
STILL ALIVE, still alive